Pundits are still reeling from
the shock revelation on the weekends’ Andrew Marr show that Hugh Grant is to
lead an actor’s coup and take over parliament before the end of the year.
Grant laid out his detailed plans
which stem from his role as Director of the pressure group Pissed Off and will
include himself as the Prime Minister as well as Clive Owen as the Deputy P.M. and
Benedict Cumberbatch as the Chancellor of the Exchequer.
Grant said: ‘We have been playing
senior politicians for years on the screen and I think that qualifies me and my
cronies to do at least as good a job as Cameron, Clegg & Co. Let’s face it; we could hardly do any worse,
could we?’
Far from seeming shocked on air,
Marr actually started to call Grant ‘Mr. Prime Minister’, no doubt looking ahead
and hoping that he won’t be for the chop if the coup is successful.
However, despite the apparent
united front portrayed by Grant amongst his Equity chums, he defended himself against Stephen
Mangan’s claims that he had been a better Tony Blair than himself. ‘He has obviously
forgotten what a Tour de Force Love Actually actually was’ he gushed ‘There
will be a role for Mangan in the new government but he’s got a lot to learn
before he stops being a trainee. He needs
to watch some more of my Rom Coms and remind himself what he’s up against!’
When asked if there would be any
women in the new parliament, Grant said he was holding auditions but hoped that
two stalwarts of the political drama, Julie Walters and Lindsay Duncan would
apply. ‘We need a bit of glamour really.
I would like to include my old mucker Emma Thompson but she really has
very little experience of this sort of role. Mind you, she has done a few posh
lady roles so that might stand her in good stead’.
Policies being suggested by Grant
include banning all newspapers apart from The Independent, making watching
lightweight Sunday night dramas compulsory and having at least one musical
number during every parliamentary session.
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| Grant doing his famous impression of Tony Blair during a recent TV appearance |
