It
has emerged that the legendary American airwoman Amelia Earhart didn’t actually
drown when her plane crashed over the Pacific in 1937, but that she did in fact
survive and has been living for the last 75 years on a desert coral island as a
monkey.
Aerial
surveyors unveiled that they made the startling discovery by chance when looking
for island idylls to ruin as holiday resorts for footballers.
Ms
Earhart made news back in the last century as she was the first woman to try to
circumnavigate the globe in a tiny plane. Earhart
disappeared over the central Pacific Ocean near Howland Island and was thought to
have drown.
However,
it has come to light that she actually landed on a reef at uninhabited Gardner
Island. Using submersibles to try and
detect the famous aircraft believed to have been swept off a Pacific reef in
1937, surveyors detected what they at first thought was a new species of monkey
but did in fact turn out to be the legendary airwoman.
A
crack team of anthropologists was sent into interview her but she was unable to
make intelligible sounds. However, using patience and the Beginners’ Guide to
American Sign Language, they have been able to communicate with Ms.
Earhart. Her first question was ‘who won
the war?’ followed by ‘how’s FDR’s New deal going?’
It
appears that she survived on debris from the aircraft including broken glass, a
bone-handled pocket knife, parts of old shoes, a zipper, a woman’s compact, and
a jar of “Dr. Berry's Freckle Ointment.”
There
is no evidence of the survival of her co-pilot Fred Noonan although charcoal
deposits were found alongside several hundred mollusc shells, as well as a
large number of bones and dried pooh apparently of human origin. When anthropologists tried to questioned her
about what had happened to her colleague, Ms. Earhart screeched in an alarming
fashion and repeatedly jumped up and down.
Chief
surveyor Dick Jones said
“We can now confirm that Amelia Earhart did not simply vanish on July 2, 1937,
but is in fact a 120 year old monkey who although mentally disturbed, appears
to be happy and healthy.”
