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Sunday, January 01, 2023

Film Reviews 2022

 


Drama

Best: The Wonder - Nurse goes to Ireland to discover why girl not eating still lives. Unusual (Netflix)

Best Brit: Break - Lad with talent for snooker puts ne’er do well life behind him. Good story & characters (Prime)

Best South African: Silverton Siege - Freedom fighters hole up in a bank, leading to Free Nelson Mandela movement. Based on true events (Netflix)

Best Euro: Green Sea - Woman with amnesia becomes cook in down-at-heel Greek seaside tavern. Gradually remembers her previous life but cause of her issues annoyingly never explained (Netflix)

The Ice Forest - Cop and grease monkey go after war crims on Italian/Serbian border (Prime)

Best American: Being The Ricardos – Set during a week filming I Love Lucy when she was accused of being a communist (Prime)

Historic: Prizefighter: The Life of Jem Belcher - Story of youngest-ever boxing champion, educational and entertaining albeit with some details changed. Great cast except for Berkoff (Prime)

Best scenery: Blood Brothers - Oddly relaxing remake, good colours and scenery (Prime)

Best music: A jazzman’s Blues - Depressing tale of racism in 1940’s deep south uplifted by great music (Netflix)

Grittiest: Jungleland - Brothers cross dangerous country to partake in bareknuckle fight (Netflix)

Spookiest: The Master - Ghosts as metaphors for racism at American college (Prime)

Grimmest: Gwenn - Maxine Peake and Eleanor Worthington-Cox (out of Britannia) harassed off their farm by evil quarrymen in grim Wales (Prime)

Artiest: Lapwing - Family scratch a living salt-panning in Lincolnshire wastelands (Prime)

Action

The Grey Man - Ryan Gosling globe-trots and wrecks Prague in biggest-budget Netflix effort so far. Idiotically entertaining (Netflix)

Operation Finale – Young Israelis fetch Eichmann from Argentina for trial (Netflix)

Most Dangerous Game - Desperate Liam Hemsworth agrees to be hunted for dosh, overseen by creepy Christoph Waltz. Entertaining but stupid women characters a tad sexist (Prime)

Snake Eyes, GI Joe Origins - By far the best movie based on the Hasbro toy. First Hollywood outing for Úrsula Corberó aka Tokyo out of Money Heist (Prime)

Spy

The Courier - In runup to Cuban missile crisis, salesman Cumberbatch gets drawn into spying web. Did somebody say Putin? (Prime)

The Good Shepherd - Posh Yale grad recruited into CIA has crap life in old Le Carré story. Slow and long but good (Netflix)

Bullet to Beijing - An older and funnier Harry Palmer and assorted double agents in entertaining mayhem (Prime)

No Time To Die - Oddly quick to come on stream after the delayed cinema release. Overlong and not as funny as Michael Caine. And James Bond is what now? (Prime)


Bio

Best: A Man of Action - True story of Spanish anarchist in France; brick-layer, bank-robber & forger. Inspirational, as Netflix said! (Netflix)

Le Mans ’66 - Tale of Ken Miles winning Le Mans in Ford, helped by Carroll Shelby (Channel 4)

Mr. Jones - Former adviser to Lloyd-George goes to Russia in search of grim reality of Stalin’s 5-year plan Prime)

Against The Ice -  Mission to prove Greenland was one island and foil the Americans (Netflix)

Escape from Pretoria - Harry Potter makes wooden keys (Prime)

House of Gucci - Long and sometimes confusing tale of family machinations. Great acting by Lady Gaga, Al Pacino and Jeremy Irons, but hammy performance and terrible accent from the overrated Jared Leto (Prime)

Savage - Autobiographical account of NZ gang life. Culturally educational (Prime)

Twilight of the Gods - A syphilis-addled Nietzsche conjures Wagner’s ghost for lessons in politics & philosophy. Like a play you’d attend in 6th form but interesting, when you stopped laughing at the over-acting! (Prime)

Crime

Best: The Last Castle - Robert Redford leads takeover of US military prison (Netflix)

The Good Liar - Geriatric con-artists Helen Mirren and Ian McKellen outdo each other with wit and twists (Prime)

Motherless Brooklyn - Edward Norton directs the New York crime noir saga, relocated to a jazzy 1950’s (Prime)

Furioza - Cop recruits her ex to infiltrate Polish football hooligan gang. Unexpectedly philosophical (Netflix)

Lou - Ex-CIA op and younger woman pursue kidnapper on wild, rocky island (Netflix)

El Chicano - Aka Mexican Batman. Cop takes on mantle of mythical super-hero to exact revenge on drug lord (Prime)

Best Bio: Gotti - John Travolta really good as real-life crime don (Prime)

Alcatraz -  Gritty tale of violent break-out with original grainy footage (Netflix)

The Getaway King - Amusing tale of Polish criminal and escape artist. Ace 1980’s visuals, colours, cars and music (Netflix)

Target Number One - Canadian reporter gets to the truth of supposed drug kingpin compatriot stuck in Thai prison. CSIS not painted in a good light (Netflix)

Rise of the Footsoldier: Origins - Prequel and possibly the best of the Essex gangster saga. A good laugh with an excellent turn by Vinnie Jones (Prime)

Rise of The Krays - Passable version of the cheeky chappies by the people who brought you Rise of the Footsoldiers with gory bits, good music and ace wallpaper (DVD)

Best codgers: Memory - Liam Neeson in nuanced performance as ageing hitman with Alzheimer’s (Prime)

Force of Nature - Aka Lethal Gammon. Elderly Mel Gibson helps cops thwart robbers in Puerto Rico storm (Prime)

Out of Death - Codger Willis foils bent cops in Hicksville. Daft but entertaining (Netflix)

Best fights: Athena – Youths rebel on French estate. Predictable plot but good battle scenes (Netflix)

Interceptor - Woman manfully fights off nuclear terrorists. Hammy acting but excellent fighting (Netflix)

Best cinematography: Dreamland - Finn Cole hides fugitive Margot Robbie in barn in dustbowl Texas. Does not end well (Netflix)

Nightride - Impressively one-shot Northern Irish film but predictable (Netflix)

Best script: Secret in Their Eyes - Cop mates reunite to find daughter’s killer. Rather slow but ace script (Prime)

Twistiest: Silent Hours - PI, hack and cops try to discover identity of psychopathic serial killer. Set in Portsmouth, boats feature heavily. Twisty end (Netflix)

Creepiest: Night Hunter - Hard-bitten cop Henry Cavill reluctantly teams up with vigilante Ben Kingsley to find psycho. Twisty and creepy (Prime)

Oddest: Love, Honour and Obey - Gang turf wars mixed with karaoke. Very odd Brit do (DVD)

Sabotage - Early Hitchcock featuring bombs and a blown up small boy (Prime)

Confession - Injured man with gun seeks refuge in church with unexpected results (Netflix)

Most philosophical: The Tax Collector - Turf wars in California. Broody and philosophical then violent (Prime)

Comedy: Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery - Silly but enjoyable caper with hilarious smashing of expensive art (Netflix)

Kill Me Three Times - Simon Pegg in nice Oldsmobile discovers someone else trying to kill his mark in small-town Australia (Prime)

Cop Shop - Gerard (Hardhead) Butler stars as assassin but worse baddies afoot in Shit-stick Nevada (Prime)

The Man From Toronto - Hapless loser gets mistaken for hitman Woody Harrelson. Daft but a laugh (Netflix)

YA: Enola Holmes 2 - Enola helps girl find her ‘sister’ leading to matchgirl strike. Enjoyable caper (Netflix)


War

WW1: All Quiet On The Western Front - Third remake of this German classic. Well made, good colours, but the first one’s still the best (Netflix)

Benediction - Arty, posh, languid bio of Siegfried Sassoon (Netflix)

WW2: Max Manus - True tale of Norwegian hero & co sabotaging Nazis. Ace blowing up of big ship (DVD)

The Resistance Fighter - Polish courier foils Nazis and starts Warsaw uprising. Rather an abrupt end (Prime)

The Bombardment - True tale of accidental bombing of Danish school instead of Nazi HQ. Not cheery (Netflix)

The Great Raid - Real story of rescuing Americans from Japanese POW camp in The Philippines. Good use of real footage (Netflix)

Best from a book: Munich: Edge of War - Good interpretation of the Robert Harris book (Netflix)

Bio: The Last Vermeer - Dutch forger sells fake Vermeer to Goering, escapes being shot after the war but was he a Nazi after all? (Netflix)

American: Union Bound - Low-key tale of union soldiers escaping from prison camp and journeying back to the north, featuring characters from actual underground railroad (Prime)

Worthiest: Escape and Evasion - Aussie soldier returns from secret disastrous Burma mission with PTSD. (Prime)

Western

Best: Ambush at Dark Canyon - Reporter tries to get to bottom of historic crime. Low-budget but good story and great music by Kix Brooks (Prime)

Modern: The Bygone: Man saves native woman from traffickers. Broody (Prime)

Horror: Potter’s Ground - Confederate soldiers on treasure hunt for Aztec Gold. Ace clothes, witty script and surprise ending (Prime)

Gothic: The Wind - Settlers scratching a living in the mid-west experience spooky goings-on (Prime)

Sci-fi

Best: Archive - Man secretly tries to put wife’s consciousness in a robot (Netflix)

Outside The Wire - In the not-too distant future, AI soldier goes rogue in Eastern Europe (Netflix)

Synchronic - Users of designer drug get sent back in time (Netflix)

Space Western: Chaos Walking - Man helps woman after crash-landing on new alien planet colony (Netflix)

Comedy: Office Invasion - Aliens take over mining company in very silly SA effort (Netflix)

Crime: Split Second - Rutger Hauer and partner chase down monster killer in flooded dystopian London. Oddball cheap Brit flick (Prime)

Noir: Exit Plan - Nordic man goes to a ‘dignitas’ hotel where strange plants oddly grow from the euthanised (Prime)

Best cheapie: Alien Code - Novel tale of decoding experts deciphering alien messages (Prime)

Best sequel: Terminator: Dark Fate - Sequel to T2, a bit weird having to forget all the others, but ageing Arnie and Hamilton entertaining (Channel 4)

Death Race Inferno – Third and best instalment with good tie-in, unlike Death Race 2: Origin story which is quite silly and includes anachronisms such as pay-per-view (Netflix)

Best locations: Broken Darkness - People living underground after meteor encounter, discover topside liveable but plagued by bad men and zombies. Echoes of The Road (Prime)

Best foreign: Casshern - Weird Japanese anime/live action combo. Stunning graphics but complicated plot (DVD)

Best kids: Captain Nova - Woman time-travels to warn of global warming (Netflix)

Best Romance: The Age of Adeline - Woman doesn’t age after freak accident (Prime)

Daftest: Spiderhead - Chris Hemsworth injects inmates with drugs in silly hi-tec prison experiments. Terrible soundtrack and daft finale (Netflix)

Most derivative: Mother/Android. - Slavey robots get fed up serving drinks and make war on humans. A touch Children of Men mixed with the Channel 4 series Humans (Netflix)

Most predictable: 2149: The Aftermath - Canadian boy escapes slave pod to discover air not poisoned. Like an extended Philip K Dick story (Prime)

Most over-promoted: - Tenet - Confusing and long (Prime)

 Fantasy

Cold Skin - Man goes to arctic island inhabited by one man and fish/girlfriend, subject to regular assaults. Different (Prime)

Everything, Everywhere, All At Once - Michelle Yeo battles evil in the multiverse. Mad but amusing (Prime)

The Wanting Mare - In a dystopian future, woman with recurring dream captures horse for annual boat export. Interesting backgrounds. Different (Prime)

Nigerian: King of Thieves - King fights thieves and demons (Prime)

Marvel: Venom - Melding of Tom Hardy and alien leads to fun results (Prime)

DC: Birds of Prey - The nefarious activities of Harley Quinn and co. NB: nobody would live in Gotham in real life (Prime)

DC copy: Samaritan - Young boy is convinced Sly Stallone is ageing super-hero in Gothamesque city (Prime)

Biblical: Translated - Paul of Tarsus lands in Rome, Oregon in 2021. Good for a Christian film (Prime)

Cartoon

Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio - Engaging animation, witty script, funny songs, but was he a real boy?  (Netflix)

Horror

Best: The Golem - Well-told Ukrainian version of the Jewish story (Prime)

Doctor Sleep - follow-up to The Shining. Good except fizzing dying vampires! (Netflix)

Sleepy Hollow - Young Johnny Depp on the trail of headless horseman. Very Tim Burton (DVD)

Worst: The Grotto - Cheapo, dubbed. A real horror! (Prime)

13 Tales of Horror - Very short but entertaining films about demons and such (Prime)

Cheapo: Jekyll and Hyde - Engaging re-telling of the old story in low-budget Brit flick (Prime)

The Reaping - Hilary Swank leads a strangely good cast for small film, trying to use science to explain why the 10 plagues besiege a tiny Louisiana town (DVD)

Zombies: Valley of The Dead - Lefties and fascists in Spanish civil war join forces to fight zombies unleashed by mad Nazi scientist. Hilarious! (Netflix)

3 From Hell – The mayhem-creating oldies are inspirational in this Rob Zombie effort (Netflix)

Vampires: Day Shift - Jamie Foxx and Snoop Dogg hunt vampires. Very silly (Netflix)

The Shed - Wayward teen in backwater town finds vampire in shed. Takes them a while to get tooled up; they should have seen Near Dark for tips (Prime)

Comedy: Werewolf Within – Jolly flick based on a video game (Netflix)

The Hunt - Blumhouse romp wherein rich people hunt plebs (Netflix)

Daftest franchise: Robert The Doll - Cheap but cheerful (Netflix)

Teen: The Craft: Legacy - Teens with witchy powers vie with evil stepdad David Duchovny. Not as good as original but (spoiler!) Nancy did turn up eventually (Netflix)

Most predictable: The Final Wish - Ye old monkey’s paw malarkey (Prime)

 Comedy

Best: All Hail - Argentinian weather presenter fails to predict a hailstorm, goes to home town for redemption (Netflix)

Moonwalkers - Ron Perlman as tough CIA guy sent to hire Stanley Kubrick, inadvertently hires losers and hippies to film fake moon landing footage. Funny in patches (Prime)

Bill & Ted Face The Music - Bonkers but enjoyable romp with middle-aged losers saving the world (Prime)

Historic: The Favourite - Fun interpretation of Queen Anne. On telly at long last! (Channel 4)

Parody: The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent - Nic Cage parodies himself in madcap caper (Prime)

The last Movie Star - Burt Reynolds as a version of himself, invited to a smalltown film festival, a bit of an odyssey, accompanied by an impressive fast-talking Ariel Winter (Prime)

Standing Up/Falling Down - Billy Crystal befriends young stand-up (Prime)

Satire: Irresistible - Spin doctor persuades man of the people to stand for mayor in small-town Wisconsin. Amusing but scary; where our politicians get all their ideas from! (Netflix)

Mockumentary: Death to 2022 - Not as many laughs as Death to 2020. A British version may have been better; then again, it’d be hard to satirise already comical events (Netflix)

Social comment: Destination: Planet Negro - Black people travel from 1939 in search of new planet, end up in the future (Prime)


Music

Musical: Cyrano - Fab Peter Dinklage as the titular character. OTT costumes and sets, a few good songs and lovely Sicilian locations (Prime)

Cinderella - Modern, jokey version of the fairy tale, with a sparkly Billy Porter as the fabulous godmother and bad singing from Piers Brosnan (Prime)

Bio: Control - Long overdue rewatch of the authentic, brilliantly done, Ian Curtis story (DVD)

Tick, Tick, Boom! - True tale of man who wrote Rent and died young. Cheesy fun and inspiring - you literally can write a song about anything!

Respect - Jennifer Hudson very good as Aretha Franklin (Prime)

Doc: Moonage Daydream - Profile of David Bowie with unseen footage. Montages a bit weird in places and some tracks truncated but not a mish-mash as Guardian reviews implied (Cinema)

Gimme Danger - Informative with good music and clips even if Iggy Pop modestly concluded The Stooges were the coolest thing ever, copied by everyone (Prime)

Documentary

Running With The Devil - Journos out of their depth follow classic triad personality-type John McAfee from Belize to Spain (Netflix)

Hero - True tale of Ulric Cross, Trinidadian hero, RAF pilot, lawyer, activist. Odd mix of documentary, narration and drama but good story and old footage (Prime)

Christmas

The Christmas Candle - Funny old tale wherein an angel appears to grant wishes to a needy person. Funny Brit cast (Prime)


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