The co-op are refurbishing the
store AGAIN! I went last week for my
normal weekly shop, and the task of finding what I wanted was made even more of
an ordeal by the fact that about half the stock had been moved, some new
shelving had been put in place and most of them were mainly empty.
Over the weekend when I tried to
go and get some fast food after a long walk, they were shut for the work to be
done. ON A BANK HOLIDAY! And this week was no better; now that
everything has been changed around, it took me about twice as long to do my
weekly shop and there were signs up saying that due to some cold storage problem
or whatever, there’d been no fresh food deliveries and there wouldn’t be one
until Saturday.
Apart from the fact that the shop
fittings have changed at least three times in the past 12 years as far as I can
recall, why have they been doing it at busy periods like tea time and weekends? Surely it would be better to carry out these
sorts of tasks later on when the shop would be shut anyway. Or better still,
give up on the pointless refurbs and just concentrate on getting some bloody
stock in!
The tills have also been changed
and I have a horrible feeling of dread that they are turning the store into a
Somerfield. Great! Now it’ll be even harder to find the everyday
basics – the place will be full of dongo beans and oogy berries or whatever
superfoods the Guardian says we’re meant to be eating this week.
2. Grapefruit
1. You Could Die
3. Cake
A couple of months back, I got a voucher for a free Co-op
Truly Irresistible Chocolate or Carrot cake.
I am no stranger to these yummy baked goods and quite partial to them,
especially the chocolate one.
I tried on several
occasions to get my promised freebie but every time I went in the shop to
redeem my voucher, they were out of stock (hardly a surprise seeing as their
stocktaking is legendarily bad).
On about my tenth quest for the free cake, I asked the young
woman on the till why they never had the chocolate cake in stock. She shrugged and said “get the coffee cake
instead. The chocolate one’s horrible
anyway”
“No it isn’t”, I countered, ‘it is actually excellent and a favourite
of mine”.
“Well I think it’s horrible” she retorted. “I think most of
the things in this shop are horrid”.
“You’re not supposed to say that; you work here” I said,
trying to make it sound like a joke.
“I hate working here”. She seethed.
Finding I had no response to this, I simply laughed and left
her to carry on seething.
2. Grapefruit
I once bought a grapefruit from the co-op. It was a Saturday hence staffed by
teenagers. When scanning my items at the
till, the young lady serving me looked at the fruit for several seconds looking
very puzzled.
Eventually, she asked me: “what is it?”
Summoning all my
self-restraint I managed not to laugh at her ignorance; after all, it’s not her
fault kids today aren’t taught the names of fresh produce, let alone eat
them. it’s a grapefruit” I answered her
straight-faced’.
She consulted a list of non-scannable items and then looked
up at me again “is it a pink grapefruit?” she enquired.
“Err, no, it’s yellow” I informed her, again managing not to
crack.
1. You Could Die
One evening recently, I popped into the co-op for a pint of
milk. I thought it would be quicker to
go to the cig counter as there is a limit of 5 items per customer. Wrong!
The person in front of me had two carrier bags full of groceries and
then had an issue with a card that wouldn’t go through.
Having waited several minutes, my patience was wearing thin.
I turned to look at the person behind me who was a smartly dressed lady who
looked to be in her 50’s. When we made
eye contact, she raised her eyebrows in a show of solidarity with my
exacerbation.
With the ice broken, I said to her “You could die waiting to
be served in here”.
To which she responded with the tone of someone half her
age: “It’s literally true; you could ACTUALLY DIE waiting to pay in the co-op!”
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