We have just returned from a holiday in Northern Ireland, and I think it is no exaggeration to say it was the funniest holiday ever. This was due to a number of factors; firstly, the extreme weather conditions including torrential showers, gale-force winds and night-time temperatures of around 5 degrees Celsius (at the end of June for God's sake!).
Thankfully, our brand new weather-proof tent bought specifically in anticipation of such adverse conditions, withstood the test with flying colours. We even managed to cook dinner most nights. In fact, it became part of the challenge. Even on the last night in camp when we said we would go out to a restaurant if it rained, we changed our minds.
Secondly, the people are quite funny, and I don't mean this in a horrid way but in the new era of the re-convened assembly where politicians from all sides seem to at last be talking and getting on, we got the distinct impression that there might be tolerance, but in many cases that's as much as we can hope for and we should be thankful they can even manage that. Many towns literally wear their colours on their sleeve, and you can tell as soon as you drive in whether it is inhabited by people of English, Scottish or Irish descent, or it is mixed.
Unusually for us, we avoided most public houses as they looked uninviting to say the least. Many had blacked-out windows so you couldn't check it out before entering the door, and you would have had to squeeze past one or more dodgy-looking fellas loitering around the entrance smoking, it already being illegal to smoke inside public premises in Northern Ireland (joined by England yesterday so we got an early glimpse of things to come...). So what's funny here, you say? Well, in the mornings, Radio Ulster has a 'phone in and whatever the topic, it turns into a slanging match between the two sides. The best one was arguing about car parking in the hospital and a woman shouting at the representative of the parking company whose head office happens to be in London 'It's because we're Irish. You hate us 'cos we're Irish!' On another occasion, over an argument concerning taxi pick-up rules, one vociferous caller instructed a man on the other side of the divide to 'fuck off and go fuck yerself!' Charming! You can certainly see how this kind of attitude boils over into violence.
Indeed, there were a few reports of rather nasty murder cases in the papers and on the radio while we were there. In one case, a woman accused her sister who had killed her own husband of being 'an afterbirth .... my ma chucked away the wrong bit'. In another case, the victim feigned death and overheard his attacker asking a mate to go and fetch a saw so he could cut up the body to dispose of it! Jeez!
Another funny aspect for us was how little money we spent, and not for want of trying. It is the only UK holiday where I've spent below-budget. Obviously, not going to pubs much helped, but also lunches when we were out during the day were really cheap cafe affairs, usually involving chips or champ (mashed potatoes with scallions/spring onions in case you were wondering). And hardly anything to buy, although we did get some cheap nice clothes – just as well as the summer clothes we brought were completely useless and we ran out of warm pants and fleeces!
Anyway, we had a really good time in spite of/because of these idiosyncrasies, and I learned a lot about the place and the roots of the troubles etc. (Derry is a fascinating place to visit to get historical perspective). It will be interesting to see if the new era of peace lasts (I really hope so) and if the expected increase in tourism will change the place and there will be gourmet restaurants outside of Belfast (which is fab by the way; may write more about that later!)
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