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Tuesday, January 07, 2025

Film Reviews 2024

 


Drama                                                                                                                           

Best: Tár - Cate Blanchet aces role as cancelled maestro (Netflix)

Amsterdam - Three friends foil depression era coup. Very loosely based on true story (Prime)

Grimmest: Black Flies - Rookie NYFD para-medic pairs with jaded veteran Sean Penn. Grimly good (Prime)

Most picturesque: River Queen - Woman searches upriver for half-Māori son. Lovely NZ scenery (Prime)

Most touching: The Beautiful Game - Bill Nighy coaches Homeless World Cup team. Inspired by real stories (Netflix)

Play: Good - David Tenant and Sharon Small in updated CJ Taylor play. Darkly funny in places (NT Live/BBC iPlayer)

YA: The Railway Children Return – Child evacuees in Haworth save underage US conscript (Netflix)

Satire: Triangle of Sadness - Rich people on cruise come to sticky end (Netflix)

Sport: Race for Glory: Audi vs Lancia - Truish tale of insanely competitive rally driving (Netflix)

Action/Thriller

Best: The King’s Man - Kingsman prequel. Rhys Ifan’s Rasputin hilarious (Channel 4)

Cheesiest: Top Gun-Maverick - As cheesy as the original, great flight scenes (Netflix)

Daftest: Expendables 4 - Old jokes abound, satisfyingly puerile (Prime)

Primal - Animal trapper Nic Cage vies with mad psycho and captured white leopard on boat (Prime)

Best foreign language: Sayen trilogy– Mapuche girl seeks revenge on land-grabbing gran murderers, gets badass (Prime)

 

Bio

Best Musicals: La Vie En Rose - Grim early life of Edith Piaf, interspersed with later year antics. Brilliant (DVD)

De-Lovely: Cole Porter hits sang by various people, potty in places (Prime)

Genius – Story of the prodigious Leonard Bernstein, great music, very posh (Netflix)

Most revealing: No Man of God - FBI agent Elijah Wood interviews Ted Bundy (Prime)

Funniest: Daliland - Ben Kingsley as the nutty, decadent Dali in 1970’s NY. Amusing and interesting (Prime)

Worthiest: Shirley - First black congresswoman runs for president (Netflix)

Most inspirational: Dumb Money - Amateurs buy GameStop shares to beat hedge funders (Prime)

British: Mr. Nice - Rhys Ifans as Howard Marks in sort-of true caper. David Thewlis great as mad IRA guy, albeit his standard character with Irish accent (Prime)

Einstein and the Bomb - Docu-style tale of Einstein’s latter years in a shed in Norfolk and US, reflects on link between his theories and atom bomb (Netflix)

Most fanciful: Boudica - Imagined story of Iceni queen fighting Romans. Flying sword and apparition of dead daughters rather fanciful but saved by battle scenes (Netflix)

Religious: Mary - Dramatisation of Jesus’ mother’s youth. Hopkins relishes playing evil Herod (Netflix)

Father Stu - Ex-boxer/criminal Mark Wahlberg gets ordained. Crotchety dad Mel Gibson very funny (Netflix)

Educational: Black Pioneer - Slave helps Mormons found Salt Lake City (Prime)

Weird: The Day of The White Lotus - Propaganda by The Theosophical Society , the original new agers (Prime)

Historic

Most ambitious: Babylon - Epic Hollywood antics amidst transition to talkies. Margot Robbie amazing, impressive score. Mixed reviews, box office bomb, future cult classic? (Netflix)

Best cinematography: Straw Man- Young photographer is recruited to watch incumbent pope JP II in 1950’s communist Poland with sinister results. Well made in monochrome (Netflix)

Best Asian: Dragon Blade - Jackie Chan teams up with fabled lost legion on Silk Road (Prime)

Best Tudor: Firebrand - Katherine Parr as regent, heretic and survivor (Prime)

Best Viking: The Northman - Viking prince seeks revenge for dad’s killing by uncle. Cast includes Alexander Skarsgård, Nicole Kidman and Bjork (Prime)

Most sumptuous: The Last Duel - Ridley Scott’s story of Medieval chauvinism and rivalry (Film 4)

Spy

Best: Despite the Falling Snow - Russian woman spying for US falls for mark. Not too soppy (Prime)

Factual: Blunt- The Fourth Man - Old BBC film about the 1950’s spy ring. Interesting (Prime)

Daftest: The Take/Bastille Day - Idris foils baddies in Paris romp (Netflix)

The Union - Halle Berry recruits schoolmate Mark Wahlberg for fun globe-trotting capers (Netflix)

Heart of Stone - Gal Gadot saves the world from evil hacker. Silly, shiny, fun (Netflix)

Most prescient: Icon Parts 1 and 2 - Virus outbreaks target specific Russian ethnic groups. Prescient but possible fuel for Disease X conspiracy theorists (Prime) 


Crime                    

Most stylish: Yakuza Princess - Young woman seeks revenge on family’s killer, teams up with ronin Rhys-Mayers (Prime)

Flashiest: Lift – Inane heist flick, entertaining flight scenes (Netflix)

Best detective: Eye for an Eye - Travolta PI returns to small-town Texas, uncovers murder and corruption (Prime)

Best Assassin: Fast Charlie - Piers Brosnan as hitman with a heart. Funny scenes include a gun/car mishap and dead bird beak stabbing (Prime)

Most original: Dangerous - Parolee trying to not be a psycho, encounters old gang on small island. Original idea, good turns from Scott Eastwood taking after his dad and Mel Gibson as psychiatrist (Netflix)

Rebel Ridge - Ex-marine seeks justice from corrupt cops. Different (Prime)

Best foreign language: Justice - Disgraced Polish ex-agent uses old-style Commie techniques to solve bank robbery/murder (Netflix)

Best dialogue: Street Kings - Cocky cop Keanu goes up against gangs and corruption. Some funny lingo (DVD)

Best line: Confidentail Informant - NY cop fakes own death to get insurance. Reminiscent of old noirs. ‘No disrespect; go fuck yourself!’ (Prime)

Best title: The Silence of The Marsh - Crime writer Pedro Alonso (Money Heist’s Berlin) in marshy Valencia, tells tale of corruption and violence (Netflix)

Worst reboot: Transporter Refuelled - Not-Statham in mediocre antics Prime)

Oddest: Bless Me Father - Young gangster confesses sins to priest, gets a shock (Prime)

Villains - Hapless criminals take refuge in house of freaky couple keeping kid in basement (Netflix)

Oddest Covid: Zeros and Ones - Ethan Hawke plays brothers on opposing sides during lockdown (Prime)

Crime Horror: Darkgame - Cops and FBI attempt to trace source of live-streamed Russian Roulette (Netflix)

Crime Comedy: Bullet Train - Daft assassin antics on train, Brad Pitt a hoot (Netflix)

Crime Bio: Casino Jack - Washington lobbyist Kevin Spacey comes a cropper (Prime)

Ageing men with health issues: Dying of the Light - CIA agent Nic Cage goes after terrorists, both terminally ill (Prime)

A Killer’s Memory - Contract killer with dementia Michael Keaton, plans for his imminent demise (Prime)

 

British Crime

Best: Gassed Up - Everyday tale of London moped gang, surprisingly watchable (Prime)

Best script: Firecracker - Botched heist on bonfire night. Low budget, good script, twisty plot (Prime)

Most confusing: Riot - Met cops in violent time-jumping effort (Prime)

Damaged - Cop Samuel Jackson goes to Edinburgh. Somewhat perplexing (Prime)

Most imaginative: Jackdaw - Motocross champ agrees to courier job to save kidnapped brother. Entirely filmed in Hartlepool area (Netflix)

Darkest: Hooligan Legacy - Convicted hooligan reeks revenge with bloody results. Dark and moody (Prime)

White Collar Hooligan 2-England Away - Hiding in Spain, spotted at footie match, Larks and unpleasantness ensue (Prime)

Meet The Firm: Revenge in Rio - Last and funniest in the ‘white collar’ trilogy (Prime)

Most disappointing: Rise Of The Footsoldier: Vengeance - Pat Tate rampages to Ibiza. Entertaining but (apparently intentionally) not as funny as ‘Origins’ (Prime)

 

War

American: Blackbear - Afghan vet returns to MMA (Prime)

Buffalo Soldiers - Bored US troops in 1989 West Germany, engage in amusing sidelines and japes (DVD)

Most educational: Submerged: The Hunley - Confederate sub comes to sticky end (Prime)

WW1: Passchendaele - Story of the famous battle centred round a Canadian soldier, a nurse and her brother. Great battle scene (DVD) 

WW2: Zone of Interest - Rudolph Hoss and family lead idyllic life across the Auschwitz wall. Ace cinematography and sound, surreally good (Prime)

Bio: The Six Triple Eight - Only black US WAC battalion sort mail backlog (Netflix)

Funniest: Wheels of Terror - The Sven Hassel classic, criminal German regiment on Eastern front, a hoot (Prime)

Comedy: The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare - Guy Richie’s amusing take on Operation Postmaster, based on book by Damian Lewis from recently declassified files (Prime)

Oddest: Condor’s Nest - US vet seeks Nazis in South America, encounters Heinrich Himmler. Odd mix of fact and fiction, slow start, mad ending (Prime)

Alternate: Resistance - D Day has failed, Welsh villagers ruled by Nazis. Low key (DVD)

Rescues: Saving Private Ryan - Overdue watch of the inexplicably true tale of Americans saving a GI (Film 4)

Wolves of War - Crack team go to rescue Prof Hopper from Nazis (Prime)

Grimmest: Arctic Convoy –Norwegian ships deliver munitions from Iceland to Russia (Prime)

Days of Glory (aka Indigenes) - Algerians fight for France, treated appallingly (DVD)

The Pianist – Jewish musician in Warsaw Ghetto, shambling round at the end like Dr. Zhivago (DVD)

Liberation - Danish school teacher tries to do right by German refugees, resistance unimpressed (Prime)

Western

One of Twelve over Twelve Months (all on (Prime): Heart of the Gun - Man seeks wife, rescues abused woman

A Guide to Gunfighters of the Wild West - horses the stars in this funny story

The Woman Who Robbed The Stagecoach - Real ‘Pearl’, arrested, jailed, pardoned. Filmed on iPhone

Tales of the Natchez Trace - Series of short stories featuring the likes of Davey Crocket. Prompted discussion of less 17th century wild west tales before the arrival of writers and journalists

Western Horror: Unnatural - Old hunter forced to take orphan grandkids on trek to eradicate evil (Prime)

Western Sci-fi: Grey Eyes - The Gunslinger meets Children of Men in this moody, well-shot Spanish tale of post-apocalyptic colour blindness (Prime)

Irish Western/Crime: In The Land of Saints and Sinners - Liam Neeson comes out of retirement when IRA bomber appears in his twee Irish village (Netflix)

Sci-fi

Best: Alien Intervention - Alien returns to retrieve object from woman 25 years after he gave it to her (Prime)

Best acting: Leave the World Behind - Cyberattack interrupts family holiday. Laden with symbolism, racist and classist undertones (Netflix)

Quirkiest: Acidman – Woman visits reclusive UFO-seeking dad in rural Oregon (Prime)

Steampunk: Rebel Moon part 2: The Scargiver – Enjoyable alternate universe/futuristic lark (Netflix)

Thriller: Don’t Worry Darling - Florence Pugh and Harry Styles in apparently idyllic community (Prime)

Covid: Zero Contact - Tech magnate Anthony Hopkins posthumously gets 5 people to stop his teleportation invention coming to fruition. Cleverly filmed over zoom during lockdown (Prime)

Dystopian: The Domestics - Couple on post-apocalyptic road trip encounter assorted baddies (Prime)

The Platform/Platform 2 - In Spanish ‘vertical social management system’, food descends on platform once a day, death and cannibalism ensue. Sequel inevitably violent. Louis Bunel has a lot to answer for (Netflix)

Most implausible: 65 - 65 million years ago, spaceman crash-lands on earth, battles dinosaurs and meteors to save small girl. Imaginative, decent effects but far-fetched (Netflix)

Foreign language: Bionic - Brazilian Paralympics crossed with The Terminator, effective visuals (Netflix)

British: Breaking Infinity - Man in a time loop tries to stop world ending (Prime)

The Kitchen - Residents of last London council estate resist eviction, accompanied by DJ Ian Wright. Some good ideas but surely they’d form a militia and fight the fascist pigs (Netflix)

AI: Future World - Atlas - Jennifer Lopez battles evil AI brother. Excellent robots (Netflix)

Previously Saved Version - Man downloads wife’s brain into androids (Prime)

Megan - creepy robot doll (Model 3 Generative Android), predictably goes rogue (Netflix)

Subservience - AI Megan Fox inevitably turns out to be bunny boiler. Very shiny (Netflix)

YA: After the End - Boy navigates post-pandemic world, meets pregnant girl. Low key (Prime)

Uglies - Teens battle overlords in dystopian future. Mostly predictable, a bit of a twist at the end (Netflix)

Breathe - As earth’s atmosphere unbreathable, family live in bunker, oxygen thieves turn up. Good use of colour to convey mood and atmosphere (Prime)

Anime: Appleseed Alpha - In post-war 22nd C., hired guns, woman and robot seek Atlantis. Lovely drawings (Netflix)


Fantasy

Best: Godzilla Minus One - Excellent prequel set in pre-war Japan, great historical accuracy (Netflix)

Best demons: Angels Fallen: Warriors of Peace - Balthazar recruits Gabriel and friends to defeat Michael. Unusual, ambitious, striking demons (Prime)

Comic: The Batman - Another update, high budget, stellar cast, dark and atmospheric, overlong (Prime)

Best villain: Morbius - Marvel character injects himself with bat blood, Matt Smith a great villain (Netflix)

Silliest: Black Adam - The Rock and Justice Society in Avenger-style mayhem. Daft escapism (Prime)

Legend/Myth: Mortal - American of Nordic descent channels Thor (Prime)

Hercules - The Rock with hair leads Thrace armies to battle against warlord. Enjoyable adventure (DVD)

Bea Wolf - Made during covid lockdowns, unusually involves as many women as men (Prime)

Beowulf and Grendel - Yet another version of the old Norse tale (DVD)

Romance: Tristan and Isolde - Watchable telling of the old story (DVD)

Folk Tale: Maksym Oza- Gold of the Werewolf - First Ukrainian film to be based on graphic novel, in turn based on folk tale. Interesting and thought-provoking, prompted reflection on how stories are passed down (Prime)

Arthouse

Best: Nightwatching - Peter Greenaway’s interpretation of Rembrandt painting the famous work (Prime)

Most wasted talent: The French Dispatch - Wes Anderson ensemble piece, impressive cast, French dialogue impossible to follow due to rapid speech and tiny subtitles (Film 4)

Short: The After - Man fails to get over death of wife and daughter. Not for me! (Netflix)

Horror                                                                                                        

Creepiest: Umma – Off-grid Sandra Oh surprised by Korean uncle bringing dead mum in suitcase (Netflix)

Impuratus -The Devil’s Confession - cop hears unbelievable confession of civil war vet in loony bin (Prime)

Silliest: Ready or Not – New bride foils murderous family game (Netflix)

Dangerous Game-The Legacy Murders - Old psycho gathers family to find successor (Netflix)

Best soundtrack: Firestarter - Blumhouse remake of the old Stephen King, truncated but watchable, ace John Carpenter music (Netflix)

Gothic: The Crow – Salvation – Cheap, bad acting, grungy fun (Prime)

Werewolves: Eight For Silver - Gypsy werewolves wreak revenge on land-stealers (Netflix)

Worst: The Disappointment Room - Strange goings on in huge fixer-upper, was it all in her head. Not very scary, should have been called The Disappointment, full stop (Netflix)

Demons: The Deliverance - Family haunted by demons, creepily based on true story (Netflix)

Sister Death - Novice nun gets to truth of spooky goings-on in post-civil war Spanish convent (Netflix)

Veronica - Teenager invokes demon in loose follow up (Netflix)

Hammiest: The Hunter’s Anthology- The Demon Hunter - Protagonist traps people in tube train, ascertains which is the demon. Cheap, hammy fun (Prime)

Zombies: Outside – Filippino family hide out on farm during zombie plague. Different. (Netflix)

Apocalypse Z- The Beginning of the End? - Zombie virus epidemic creates worldwide chaos. Imaginative but inconclusive Spanish flick. Cheeky ‘?’ hints at sequel (Prime)

Vampires: The Invitation - Young woman escapes house of posh vampires (Netflix)

Blood Vessel - Creepy Nazi vampire gold ship. Naff but a laugh (Prime)


Comedy

Best: The Lost City - Cover model Channing Tatum rescues writer Bullock from millionaire Radcliffe (Netflix)

The Cobbler - Cobbler discovers old stitcher allows him to step into other’s shoes (Prime)

A Man Called Otto - Grumpy Tom Hanks reluctantly gets involved with neighbours for usual but watchable goo (Netflix)

American Fiction - Black academic writes trite ‘black novel’ for a joke. Some hilarious bits (Prime)

Best action: Jackpot! - Protection agent John Cena helps winner of deadly lottery survive the mob. Silly fun (Prime)

Northern Comfort - Group scared of flying stranded in Iceland. The excellent Tim Spall takes charge (Netflix)

Best Welsh: Brian and Charles - Mad inventor builds robot friend in his shed. A quirky laugh (Netflix)

Sci-fi Comedy: Free Guy - Game AI gains consciousness, escapes to better virtual world (Film 4)

Horror Comedy: A Vampire in the Family - Long-lost brother-in-law returns to Brazil, Count Dracula comes to vampire Halloween party (Netflix)

Musical Comedy: Dublin Crust - Irish punk band reform after 5 years. Songs not too bad if samey (Prime)

Romcom: Marry Me - Singer picks out maths teacher at gig to wed, scenes with adorable kids ensue (iPlayer)

Comedy Bio:

Best: Pinball: The Man Who Saved The Game - Pinball fan Roger Sharpe convinces NY authorities it’s not gambling (Prime)

British: Wicked Little Letters - Littlehampton community scandalised by rude sweary missives (Netflix)

Funniest: Unfrosted - Loosely based on invention of pop tarts (Netflix)

Crime Comedy:

Most unbelievable: The Hot Potato – Chancers try to flog uranium, comedy capers incredibly based on a true story (Prime)

Oddest: The King of Bloody Fookin’ Britain - US interpretation of Cockney gangsters (Prime)

Brothers - Josh Brolin and Peter Dinklage as unalike twins follow dysfunctional mum into crime. Enjoyable, hilarious in parts (Prime)

Christmas

Silliest: Red One - The Rock and Chris Evans rescue kidnapped Santa with Viking roots from Christmas witch (Prime)

Most gory: Violent Night - Santa, again apparently Viking, helps to foil robbers of rich family (Netflix)

Most disappointing: The Christmas Chronicles 2 – Started as a mad elf film, cheered up by Kurt Russell singing and Goldie Hawn as Mrs. Claus (Netflix)

Carry-On - Man plans to put chemical bomb on plane, motive uncertain. Lacks anything festive apart from taking place on Christmas Eve and a couple of songs (Netflix)