Film of the year
Guardians of the Galaxy
Vol. 2 – wonderful! Well worth seeing on
the big screen. Vol. 1 is also still
awesome.
Close second and third
War for the Planet of the
Apes – although the amount of actual warfare is a tad disappointing. Welcome re-run at Christmas with all that snow
and dead coke trucks.
Blade Runner 2049 – just forget
it’s Ryan Gosling!
Christmas cracker
Children of Men – the traditional
annual viewing. Now fully appreciating
its prophetically post-Brexit genius,
Brit flicks
Best crime
We Still Kill the Old Way
– good idea, ace cast of aged gangstas (Ian Ogilvy excellent) and fab script.
We Still Steal the Old Way
– welcome sequel. It also makes sense to
see the two films as a set.
Best Welsh offerings
Devil’s Bridge - Essex
boys get terrorised by a Welsh Nationalist.
What’s not to like?
Crow - interesting tale of
crow people vs English knob. You can
guess the rest…
Worst Brit
Ghost Ship – very cheap. Extensive use of Charlestown harbour &
museum but severe lack of the actual haunted ship.
sci-fi/fantasy
Best
The Great Wall - ace
monsters and brill colours
Funniest
Codependent Lesbian Space
Alien Seeks Same -filmed in b/w, cheap effects include backwards alien talking,
and a tin foil spacecraft. Hilarious!
Best dialogue
Independence Day:
Resurgence – (“Where’s the UFO?”) “Over the Atlantic.” “Which part?” “All of
it.”
Best use of wide angle
UFO - strange, cheap Brit
flick made in Derby. Notable also for Jean Claude Van Dam making a surprise
appearance.
Most
interesting ideas
Arrival - not the best alien invasion film but interesting
non-linear concepts of time and use of asemic writing.
Most fun
Suicide Squad – an ace
Harley Quinn.
Comedy
Best
War Dogs - amusing tale
based on a true story of two guys gun running in Iraq.
Weirdest
Swiss Army Man - Harry
Potter as a dead dude with magic powers – very odd!
Darkest turn
The President – set in fictional
Eurasian country, starts out very funny but takes a very dark turn.
War films
Best WW2
My Way – amazing true
story of Korean guy who ends up in Japanese, Russian and German army in WW2
Funniest
Railroad Tigers - a band of Chinese heroes fool the
idiot Japanese.
Most Avant-garde
The Keep – very odd, early
Michael Mann effort featuring Nazis, a demon, and music by Tangerine Dream.
Saddest
Across the Water - true
tale of Jews escaping Nazi Denmark; made me cry.
Best historical war
Shaolin - Hong
Kong/Chinese collab set in the warlord era circa 1912-28. Features the amusing Jackie Chan as an old
cook.
Best modern war
The Siege of Jadotville - true
story of UN Irish soldiers in the Congo.
Hyena Road - Canadian soldiers
in Afghanistan enjoy nice cinematography and good dialogue.
Westerns
Best
The Free State of Jones – excellent.
Best cinematography
Jane Got a Gun – not the
best western but ace cinematography.
Most relaxing
The Keeping Room - one of
them relaxing violent Westerns.
Best oldie
Django Kill –original actual
spaghetti western; an odd do with strange music. Where Tarantino gets his ideas from.
Most erratic snow
The Hateful 8 - better
than Tarantino’s last effort but erratic snow got on the nerves and comparisons
with old spaghetti westerns now inevitable.
Best Mythical/biblical
Best
Chi-Raq -a ‘Spike Lee
Joint’. Lysistrata transported to
Chicago.
Daftest
Gods of Egypt - utterly
daft but very enjoyable with some awesome sets and CGI.
So bad it’s good
Land of the Pharaohs – so
bad it was hilarious!
Weirdest
Left Behind - weird
premise of The Rapture with Nic Cage as heroic pilot.
Historical
Best
The Physician – really
good tale of a young apprentice who goes to study medicine in the middle east
in the middle ages.
Best epic
For Greater Glory
(Cristiada) - Catholic repression in 1920’s Mexico. Very educational.
Most over-long
Silence - good but very
long Scorsese effort. I joked it was
like a follow up to The Last temptation.
Grimmest
Mudbound - grim tale of 2
families in Mississippi.
Best pre-pirate Depp
The Man Who Cried - Johnny Depp as a gypsy pretending to ride a
horse in Nazi Paris.
Crime/ heist flick
Best
Hatton Garden the Heist
- gently comic tale of how the old
geezers did the job. (Not the big
release).
Shiniest
Now You See Me 2 - slow
start but the pace picked up with some good tricks at the end; prompted me to
suggest that Daniel Radcliffe (aka Harry Potter) should learn to do magic for
real.
Most amusing caper
The Heist –hapless men try
to steal a painting.
Grimmest
Freight - violent tale of people trafficking in Leeds.
Best script
Live by Night - good story
by and starring Ben Affleck. Script was
great and so are the sets.
Worst wig
Southern Fury - violent
mobster action with Nic Cage in bad wig.
Action/thriller
Best
XXX: Return of Zander Cage
- ridiculous but fun
Best Statham
Mechanic Resurrection - Statham
in classic daft but a laugh mode.
Best political thriller
The Company You keep –
Robert Redford looking good for his age.
Worst
Marauders - good concept
of robbery by AI but badly executed – rubbish in fact; possibly Bruce Willis’
worst film ever.
World cinema
Best
Dhoom 3 – most excellent;
possibly best of the trio even if they did nick the plot from The Prestige.
Most original
White God - mongrel dogs
get revenge in Budapest. Some great
scenes and handy tips for training dogs to fight.
Best Russian
Admiral – story of the guy
who effectively ran the place while the soviet regime settled down; it was
interesting to see the change in perspective now they’re not commies any more.
Best Antipodean
Hunt for the Wilderpeople –
lovely, gentle NZ comedy set in the 1980’s.
Best Japanese anime
Miss Hokusai -cartoon about a famous artist and his
daughter.
Horror
Best
Underworld Blood Wars –
contains ace wafty witchy white vampires.
Resident Evil: the final
chapter - tied up all the ends nicely.
Zombie
Best
The Girl With All the
Gifts – Great, if a bit slow in places.
An excellent turn by Glenn Close as evil old major.
Best low-budget
Plan Z –low budget Brit flick
set in Scotland, by and starring one man.
Funniest
Sleeping Beauty - dark
re-telling of the fairy-tale, set in Bulgaria with monsters and zombies.
Real-life/biopic
Best
Ip Man - true tale of the man
who inspired Bruce Lee
Most old men
Deepwater Horizon – we couldn’t
decide if it was an action film or trying to have a social conscience; maybe
due to all them big actors now looking about 90.
Funniest
Gold – amusing tale of an
idiot prospector.
Best kids
BFG – good old-fashioned
kids’ movie
Pete’s Dragon
