A couple of funny things happened while I was out doing errands this weekend.
I went to the chemist and someone I know by just his nickname was waiting for a script. When the pharmacist came out be called 'Mr Mcfly' and it was this acquaintance of mine. I was temted to ask him where the Delorean was parked!
I was in a trendy shoe shop, just having a browse. A woman was returning a pair of shoes. They were in their box so I didn't see them. She was explaining patiently to the shop assistant: 'it's alright when I stand in them, but it's when I try to walk it's a problem'. It was very hard not to laugh as the assiistant asked if she wanted a different pair (maybe another colour shoe would be more comfortable, perhaps?) Obviously these were standing shoes, not walking shoes!
Monday, April 30, 2007
Friday, April 20, 2007
Just goes to show...
Well, I did get a response to my e-mail complaining about the stupid pavement caff regs. It was quite funny though as it was obviously a standard letter, and the second part definitely hadn't been written by the same person as the first part, as the style was completely different. I know I said a while back that I had decided to get into this constructive complaining thing, but you just get these crappy standard responses back which makes me wonder what's the point? They just do what they like anyway, even though no-one hardly agrees with them. We English are so good at wingeing about stuff, and then complying.
It's like the ban on smoking in public places. Everyone just says 'oh well, we'll have to do it'. If everyone (well, the smokers) refused to comply, what would they do? Put us all in prison? I of course hope not to be smoking by the time of the ban which is 1st July. However, it's not going too well so far. I had to come off Zyban a couple of weeks ago as I got really depressed, and there was some other stuff going on so I really couldn't be doing with the mental effort of not smoking on top of everything else. I am aiming to try again v. soon though. I ought to just bite the bullet and go cold turkey!
It's like the ban on smoking in public places. Everyone just says 'oh well, we'll have to do it'. If everyone (well, the smokers) refused to comply, what would they do? Put us all in prison? I of course hope not to be smoking by the time of the ban which is 1st July. However, it's not going too well so far. I had to come off Zyban a couple of weeks ago as I got really depressed, and there was some other stuff going on so I really couldn't be doing with the mental effort of not smoking on top of everything else. I am aiming to try again v. soon though. I ought to just bite the bullet and go cold turkey!
Monday, April 16, 2007
Miserable gits
I was absolutely astonished to read about our local council’s plans for regulating pavement cafes.
The regulations include that there must be a 1 metre high fence around the tables and chairs, that there must be a 1.8 metre space between the punters and the rest of the public, and that plastic crockery has to be used. Furthermore, café owners have to pay £300 for the privilege and £3000 a year liability insurance.
The main square and surrounding area have recently been pedestrianised in our little town, and as we have just had a stunningly gorgeous weekend, the streets were full of people sitting outside enjoying a drink and/or food, there were buskers everywhere and it was like being on holiday in the Med. These ridiculous regulations are bound to adversely affect the character and economy of the town. I really think our council have got nothing better to do than come up with poxy regulations to make life more shit for people, and get more money out of them.
As if this wasn’t enough, we have just been informed within the last fortnight that both the annual fireworks display on bonfire night and the carnival held in June won’t go ahead anymore due to a lack of volunteers and too many health & safety regulations. It’s almost as if they want to ruin this town – I don’t know why because it creates a lot of wealth for the area. They just can’t stand seeing people enjoying themselves can they? The miserable money-grabbing bastards!
I have sent an e-mail of complaint but I’m not holding my breath.
The regulations include that there must be a 1 metre high fence around the tables and chairs, that there must be a 1.8 metre space between the punters and the rest of the public, and that plastic crockery has to be used. Furthermore, café owners have to pay £300 for the privilege and £3000 a year liability insurance.
The main square and surrounding area have recently been pedestrianised in our little town, and as we have just had a stunningly gorgeous weekend, the streets were full of people sitting outside enjoying a drink and/or food, there were buskers everywhere and it was like being on holiday in the Med. These ridiculous regulations are bound to adversely affect the character and economy of the town. I really think our council have got nothing better to do than come up with poxy regulations to make life more shit for people, and get more money out of them.
As if this wasn’t enough, we have just been informed within the last fortnight that both the annual fireworks display on bonfire night and the carnival held in June won’t go ahead anymore due to a lack of volunteers and too many health & safety regulations. It’s almost as if they want to ruin this town – I don’t know why because it creates a lot of wealth for the area. They just can’t stand seeing people enjoying themselves can they? The miserable money-grabbing bastards!
I have sent an e-mail of complaint but I’m not holding my breath.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Pace Eggy Time
It’s that time of year again! One of the nice things about living out in the sticks, is that there are a number of local traditions, many of which revolve around drinking, and ye olde Pace Egg play on Good Friday is one of (if not) the best. This involves the Heptonstall Players performing the said play four times during the day, starting at around 1.00 ish, with the last one at around four o’clock, and going to the local hostelry between performances.
The play is a strange affair believed to be of Middle-Eastern origin, featuring Saint George, The Black Knight (I never said it was P.C.!) and other assorted characters bashing each other with swords. We got there in time for the third performance of the day, during which Slasher managed to clatter Saint George on the head so hard that he draw blood. The mood is such that everyone is in fits of laughter, even the injured George, and the players carry on regardless. It’s a good job they’re drunk!
After the play, we retired to the local pub for a pint. The players were in there and the actor who plays the Black Knight was talking to a guy with a foreign accent. ‘You’re not English are you?’ he asked ‘No’ the other man replied. ‘Where are you from?’ ‘Argentina’ ‘What – the Argentina? The big one?’ (er, no, the one next to Bradford, I thought – how many Argentinas are there for fuck’s sake?). The Black Knight then gave his sword to a baby in a pram to play with. When will people learn, weapons and alcohol are a bad mix!
Anyway, some mates pf ours had turned up and so we stayed with them to watch the final performance but it was a waste of time for me as I couldn’t see a bloody thing. I confused one of my mates as she thought it was a traditional English play ‘Er, no,’ I said. ‘It’s from the Middle East’. ‘So what’s Saint George in it for?’ she asked ‘Because he’s from the Middle East’ I told her. She was predictably astonished at this news, as are many English people who don’t realise that George was not in fact English. Furthermore, it is likely that the whole thing about England and the Cross of Saint George was a massive branding exercise, because really there was no such thing as England until the late Saxon times.
‘So didn’t he really kill a dragon?’ She asked, then added, ‘Only kidding I know that’s not true really’
‘Well’, I replied. ‘It depends on your definition of dragon. He might have’ This did her head in completely and she shut up.
One of the funny things about the Pace Egg though is that no-one really understands it, no matter how many years they have come up to Heptonstall to watch it. It’s a mystery. But then isn’t the whole Easter thing? Ahh!
The play is a strange affair believed to be of Middle-Eastern origin, featuring Saint George, The Black Knight (I never said it was P.C.!) and other assorted characters bashing each other with swords. We got there in time for the third performance of the day, during which Slasher managed to clatter Saint George on the head so hard that he draw blood. The mood is such that everyone is in fits of laughter, even the injured George, and the players carry on regardless. It’s a good job they’re drunk!
After the play, we retired to the local pub for a pint. The players were in there and the actor who plays the Black Knight was talking to a guy with a foreign accent. ‘You’re not English are you?’ he asked ‘No’ the other man replied. ‘Where are you from?’ ‘Argentina’ ‘What – the Argentina? The big one?’ (er, no, the one next to Bradford, I thought – how many Argentinas are there for fuck’s sake?). The Black Knight then gave his sword to a baby in a pram to play with. When will people learn, weapons and alcohol are a bad mix!
Anyway, some mates pf ours had turned up and so we stayed with them to watch the final performance but it was a waste of time for me as I couldn’t see a bloody thing. I confused one of my mates as she thought it was a traditional English play ‘Er, no,’ I said. ‘It’s from the Middle East’. ‘So what’s Saint George in it for?’ she asked ‘Because he’s from the Middle East’ I told her. She was predictably astonished at this news, as are many English people who don’t realise that George was not in fact English. Furthermore, it is likely that the whole thing about England and the Cross of Saint George was a massive branding exercise, because really there was no such thing as England until the late Saxon times.
‘So didn’t he really kill a dragon?’ She asked, then added, ‘Only kidding I know that’s not true really’
‘Well’, I replied. ‘It depends on your definition of dragon. He might have’ This did her head in completely and she shut up.
One of the funny things about the Pace Egg though is that no-one really understands it, no matter how many years they have come up to Heptonstall to watch it. It’s a mystery. But then isn’t the whole Easter thing? Ahh!
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Good Luck to Daisy Diva!
Now I am going to do something completely out of character… promote a brand and a product. This is different though. I know the person who makes the stuff as she used to be a neighbour, and the products were launched for sale in a lovely shop (one of those ‘needful things’ hippy places) also owned by a neighbour.
We just happened to be passing the shop yesterday after doing some less interesting errands, and I remembered they were doing a product launch for ‘Daisy Diva’. We went in, and I bought something else we needed, then looked at the Daisy Diva range and I realised we knew the person who made them! So we went upstairs and sure enough, there she was being the hostess with the mostest, getting people to try her products and offering out coffee and cake. We tried a few things out – the massage bar and day cream are both loverly, but I was absolutely blown away by the salt body scrub. I just tried it on my hands and they felt so brilliant and soft afterwards it was amazing! So we bought some.
What is great about all this is that I know the stuff is all handmade and natural, and I am really pleased that she is getting the brand promoted as I know she’s been doing it on a small scale for a while. So good luck Daisy Diva!
We just happened to be passing the shop yesterday after doing some less interesting errands, and I remembered they were doing a product launch for ‘Daisy Diva’. We went in, and I bought something else we needed, then looked at the Daisy Diva range and I realised we knew the person who made them! So we went upstairs and sure enough, there she was being the hostess with the mostest, getting people to try her products and offering out coffee and cake. We tried a few things out – the massage bar and day cream are both loverly, but I was absolutely blown away by the salt body scrub. I just tried it on my hands and they felt so brilliant and soft afterwards it was amazing! So we bought some.
What is great about all this is that I know the stuff is all handmade and natural, and I am really pleased that she is getting the brand promoted as I know she’s been doing it on a small scale for a while. So good luck Daisy Diva!
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