Is this all there is?

I stopped taking Zyban just over a week ago because I started to get itchy feet and hands. I have since found out this is a really common symptom and it’s all in your head! Nonetheless, it didn’t stop ‘til the other day. The dizziness went, but appears to have come back again today, so maybe it’s just nicotine withdrawal rather than the pills. Last week I didn’t smoke at all even in the evenings, but did have a few again at the weekend. Oh well; I’m getting there!

Today I had a really riveting (sic) day at a conference which was yet again going on about how government agencies want to work with the voluntary sector (or ‘third sector’) as they call it. These things are always the same. Some people from a government agency go on about what good work we do in the voluntary sector and how they really need us, then someone from the voluntary sector goes on about how special and great we are, then there are so-called ‘workshops’ which are actually someone else spouting off about something or other, and then we go home none the wiser as to how we actually in reality get the contracts to carry out work for these statutory bodies. You have to go to these events to be seen, and everyone knows we are doing more and more work for less and less money, and keep having to bend what we do to get contracts and stay afloat, but the message never seams to get up to the top where people can really make a difference. There has to be a better way surely!

Moaning Minies

I did actually stop smoking cigarettes last Monday (hooray!) I did have the odd mini- cigar on a couple of occasions in the evening. Phil reckons this isn’t too bad as you don’t inhale it – not sure this is true but at least I almost gave up. Last night I went out for the first time since I stopped, and did have a few, but as most of my social circle smoke, it is nigh impossible not to do so. Anyway, I woke up this morning really not wanting a cig., and I could really smell it on my hands so I have gone back to stopping again. I am quite pleased really, because there is a danger that if you have a few, you’ll start smoking full-time again but I haven’t. The zyban has started making me feel a bit dizzy sometimes but I am coping. Hopefully, I won’t need to take it for much longer.The other event of note this week was getting my letter published in the local paper. I was wingieng about all the wingers who write in protesting about the doing up of the town centre, don’t even get their facts right, and have a go at people like us who moved into the area because we like it. I thought it only right to point out that if it wasn’t for new people moving in, the town would be dead. Anyway, I am waiting for a certain person to write in again next week slagging me off so I can have another go at them – could be war!

My friends all thought it was ace and about time someone had a go at the moaning minies!

Still Hooked

Well, I have cut down smoking a lot but I have not put any money on me actually stopping altogether by my target date of tomorrow. It is Soooo hard! My theory is that those people who think it’s easy to give up smoking are either lying or still having a crafty one (or ten) when no-one’s looking, or aren’t really addicts at all.

The funny thing is that Phil decided to go into competition mode and also started cutting down last week without the aid of medication or nicotine replacement. He is now smoking about the same as me, but whereas for me this is about half what I used to smoke, it’s about 25% for him and he is suffering quite a bit. I have therefore advised him not to try packing in altogether just yet and persevere with the reduction plan instead.

Not that he ever listens to me on these matters. He is always in denial when he’s ill so makes himself worse rather than resting. Mind you, I suppose that is unusual as most men are complete babies when they are unwell.

Back to the Zyban, what seems to be happening is that it reduces my craving for nicotine bit doesn’t eliminate it altogether so I can go longer without smoking, but still crack eventually. My record so far is 3.5 hours, expect when asleep (Ha! Ha!). I also had a few mild but weird side effects last week such as feeling odd and jabbering in meetings, and I’ve had some odd dreams of late, but otherwise nothing drastic. Mind you, I did talk to someone who got an anaphylactic attack after taking it for 2 weeks so there is still time!

Don't mess with my head!

I have still not heard further from the BBC since my follow-up query, but I have had a response from the Council on recycling. It is quite detailed and explains the targets and how this might go up soon etc. Also says we might get the coloured wheelie bins but this would mean having about 3 bins outside the house and we barely have room for one, so I have asked for more information about this – local politics is rivetting isn’t it?

Talking of which, we now have a draft constitution for our community group to take charge of and look after the ‘community garden’. However, it looks like the council want us to buy it and if that means market rate, we may have to do some serious fund-raising. We will see. In the meantime, I need to get a solicitor to look at the constitution gratis –luckily, I do know one who lives nearby but not sure if it’s his area of expertise.

I have recently started taking the drug Zyban in a bid to stop smoking, and have begun found out how many people have drugs stories once you start to talk about it. A friend of mine has been on Seroxat (the one that makes kids kill themselves) for 12 years and has been wondering why she always feels tired, until someone told her it makes you drowsy! Another friend of mine got put on anti-depressants when she was 18 because she was ‘confused about her sexuality’. You’d think this was back in the dark ages not the 1980’s wouldn’t you? It is absolutely disgusting what they do to people’s heads when the main crime seems to be ‘not fitting in’. I am so glad I never told anyone about my feelings of detachment when I was a kid or I’d probably be addicted to valium or something! It really makes me angry how they treat people – I would like some statistics on how many people it affects, but haven’t had chance to look yet.

Will keep you posted, and also on if the Zyban works!